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round five prompt post - CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS

Round Six will open on Thursday, June 14th.

The Holiday Round has been posted here. Please use that any holiday prompts.

IMPORTANT: Please don't forget to warn for any triggers (these can be found in the Rules post), better to warn when in doubt. If a prompt is not warned for triggers and contains them, it will be screened and you will be asked to re-write it with the appropriate warning. This is to ensure a safe environment for everyone. If you have any questions/concerns regarding your prompt, don't hesitate to use the mod post.

IMPORTANT: Please put what pairing or character your prompt focuses on in the header of the comment!

IMPORTANT: If a discussion starts that has little to do with the prompt itself, please continue or start the discussion over at the Free For All Post located here.

IMPORTANT: When reposting a prompt from a previous round. Please indicate what round the prompt is from.

IMPORTANT: Prompts can be reposted in later rounds, but not in the round directly following the prompt's original round. Prompts from Round Four should be reposted in Round Six; prompts from Round Three should be reposted in Round Five. I will delete any prompts that I recognize from Round Four.

Round Five will be closed for 48 hours once it reaches ~2500 comments, and will be closed permanently once it reaches ~5000 comments. During the closed times, people are still allowed to post FILLS, but any PROMPTS posted will be deleted.

Refer to the Rules and Guidelines for Posting before posting a prompt/fill.
Direct any of your concerns to the Mod Post.
Both Filled and Unfilled Prompts are archived at our Delicious account.
You can also read comments in flat view, if that makes browsing easier.
Previous Rounds:
Round One
Round Two
Round Three
Round Four

Please make sure to post links to your fills in the FILL POST. Thank you. :]

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 1/?

So I’ve actually already been working on something like this. It’s not slash, but I hope you don’t mind if I post it here. It’s already taken on a mind of its own and I feel like if I don’t post part of it, then I’ll never be pressured to actually finish.

For once, the day had actually started out nicely. That should have been Mike’s first clue that everything would come crashing down, but for now he was happily preparing to head into work.

He had gone to sleep at 10:30, which he hadn’t done since college, practically, and he’d woken up without the need of his alarm at 6:00.

He cooked himself a breakfast sandwich, filling the thing with cheese, and still had time to spare. So he made sure he looked respectable, tie straight, hair decent, and for once, no bags under his eyes. No one would be able to say he didn’t look like a proper Pearson Hardman lawyer today.

He rode his bike over, taking the time to steer safely through the concrete jungle of New York’s early rush, and made it to the office in record time.

The security guard who checked his badge even gave him a friendly smile.

As Mike walked through the office towards his cubicle, he spotted Louis, and as another wonder on this day of miracles, Louis didn’t stop him or even glare at him. Instead he just looked through Mike as though he didn’t exist, which was how Mike preferred to be seen when it came to Louis.

Mike sat down at his desk and leafed through the various files and briefs. They were all things he’d already finished with, either for Louis or Harvey. Somehow, he’d managed to get a head start on all his work, and he sat dazed at his desk for a few minutes as he realized that he actually had nothing to do.

So he organized his desk, which he hadn’t done since he’d been assigned one, and threw out any used highlighters or pens. He even dusted off his computer screen and organized the filing cabinet he had. After the ten to fifteen minutes it had taken for him to do this, he decided that having nothing to do was even worse than having too much to do, so he decided to go beg Harvey for work.

And Mike was absolutely certain that Harvey would be in a good mood today. After the Clifford Danner case, Harvey had become unstoppable, which is to say, back to his usual self. He had taken on several tough cases that Jessica had personally given to him, and he’d even wrestled some pretty big clients from Louis’ grasp. He’d been exceptionally forgiving the past few days, and had even taken time to show Mike how to fill out a form.

Mike was also proud to say that he’d been doing well these past few days too. He had settled two pro bono cases, won one in court, and been assigned to help Rachel research something for one of Jessica’s big cases. Jessica had even complimented him.

So it was with eagerness that Mike set off for Harvey’s office.

He approached Donna’s desk, where the so-much-more-than secretary was busy typing up a storm.

Mike crossed his arms on her desk and rested his chin on his wrists. She didn’t even look up as she asked, “What is it Mike? Get another paper cut?”

“Just didn’t want to interrupt. Why? Are you trying to get rid of those Hello Kitty band-aids?”

“Twilight ones, actually,” she said.

Mike raised his eyebrow at her in mock surprise.

“What?” she said dramatically. “Louis gave them to me.”

“Mmhm,” Mike said, retreating hastily. Now that he’d bantered with Donna, he could proceed safely to Harvey’s office. They had a system.

ike could hear the client’s whining from where he was sitting three feet away. “Charlie, you never were going to get that much. That’s the point of starting high. If you hadn’t cheated on your wife, then none of this would have happened.”

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 2/?

Mike poked his head through Harvey’s glass door. The man himself was sitting on his couch, legs crossed, sans jacket, and arguing suavely with a client.

“Take the offer,” Harvey said, gesturing for Mike to sit down.

There was a loud retort from the other end of the phone. Harvey rolled his eyes as he and Mike shared a grin.

“No, Charlie. Listen to me. Take the deal. You’re not going to get a better offer.” There was another pause and Mike could hear the client’s whining from where he was sitting three feet away. “Charlie, you never were going to get that much. That’s the point of starting high. If you hadn’t cheated on your wife, then none of this would have happened.”

When Harvey had finally finished his call, he turned his attention to Mike.

Mike shrugged nervously under Harvey’s gaze. “What?” he said intelligently.

“You tell me,” Harvey replied.

Mike hesitated. He wanted to be useful, but did he really want to ask Harvey for work? He was still feeling lucky though, so he decided to go with his instinct.

“Um. Have anything you need me to do?” he asked, feigning boredom.

Harvey quirked an eyebrow. “Are you actually asking for something to do? Hasn’t Louis started a new filing room in your cubicle?”

Mike chuckled. “He tried!”

Harvey’s eyebrow rose even higher. Mike hadn’t thought such a feat was possible, but then this
was Harvey Specter.

Mike wanted to act hurt, but since he had already committed to acting cool, he instead crossed his arms and smirked dramatically.

Harvey opened his mouth to retort when the intercom on his desk tsked. Mike looked out at Donna’s desk, but the secretary looked completely normal and inconspicuous. Which meant that Mike hadn’t imagined that noise that stopped whatever it was Harvey had been about to say.

“Anyway, need any help?” Mike tried again.

“I’m Harvey Specter. Of course I don’t need help.”

“Any grunt work then?” Mike rolled his eyes.

Harvey looked pensive for a minute and then said, “Well, I do need something from the file room. You know, the one where Louis’ mother keeps her lair? I suppose you might be able to survive long enough to handle file retrieval.”

“How generous of you, Harvey.”

“Mmhmm,” Harvey grinned, handing Mike a paper with instructions.

“You so care,” Mike managed as he slipped out of Harvey’s office.

Mike practically flew down the hall to his cubicle, he was just so happy to finally have something to do. He was so caught up in his reverie that he ran right smack into Kyle—whose arms were piled high with a fresh stack of briefs—scattering papers everywhere.

“Nice going, Ross,” Kyle said, bending down to gather the loose papers.

Mike hurriedly started grabbing any papers within his reach and shoved them back as he muttered an insincere “sorry” at the evil that was Kyle.

Kyle was glaring at Mike, preparing a particularly clever response, when Mike suddenly bolted. He was so stunned that he barely managed to spit out a retort about Mike running from Kyle’s greatness. Mike didn’t know how fortunate he was to have not heard a single bit of it.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 3/?

Kyle was having a strange day. He’d been given an enormous stack of briefs by Louis, except that when he sat down to do them, he discovered they’d already been proofed. Begrudgingly, Kyle silently thanked Mike.

He’d managed to avoid getting any more work to do by appearing extremely bogged down whenever Louis strolled past his desk. Kyle had a hunch that this had more to do with the fact that Louis was more focused on searching the crowd of cubicles for the ever late Michael Ross.

With an unusual amount of free time on his hands, Kyle decided to make the most of things. Pestering the pretty paralegal that Mike was so enamored of was the first thing he decided to do. He figured she’d come to her senses soon and choose him over Ross. It wasn’t that Kyle particularly liked Rachel, it was more that he wanted her because that way Mike couldn’t have her. And that was in no way petty. Definitely not.

He’d actually gotten a smile out of her by the time Louis found him. The junior partner had yelled at him about chasing the lesser beings, and thrown a heavy stack of files into Kyle’s arms.

Still, everything was going great until he was run over by Mike Ross. In front of everyone in the entire associate’s area, no less. Papers went flying everywhere and Kyle let out a reflexive, “Nice going, Ross,” as he’d bent down to gather them back. Surprisingly, he was met with a quiet mumble of an apology from his enemy, who started gathering up all the loose papers.

Kyle glared back at the man, forming a rather clever retort about how Mike was totally inferior to Kyle for some reason or other. He didn’t get the chance to perfect this insult however, as Ross flew past him towards the elevators.

Whatever, Kyle thought as he checked for any more loose papers. There was something over by the cubicle to his left and when he picked it up he saw that it was Ross’ wallet.

He couldn’t help the evil chuckle that escaped his lips when he found it. He made a mental note to check the inside later for any cash, not that he was going to steal it, but he wasn’t beyond hiding the money and seeing Ross freak out about it. Now that would be entertaining.

As Kyle settled down at his desk he began leafing through the new stack of briefs that Louis had shoved at him, trying to put all the almost-escaped papers back in their correct places. That’s when he noticed that the briefs had already been highlighted and notated. The handwriting matched that of the first stack of briefs’. Mike Ross. Kyle allowed another silent ‘thank you’ to the associate. Stupid Ross was even screwing up Kyle’s ability to hate him.

“Hey, Kyle. Want a muffin?”

“What?” Kyle snapped as he looked up, startled, from the briefs. Harold was looking back at him, hurt written openly on his face. “Oh. No. Where did you get muffins from, anyway?”

“Oh, Norma was handing them out. She’s so nice, you know?”

Kyle blanched. Norma was most definitely not nice. The woman was almost scarier than Harvey’s secretary, though in a completely different fashion. She’d probably be super nice to Ross, he thought angrily.

“Are you feeling okay, Kyle?” Harold looked concerned now.

Kyle glared at the other associate.

“Anyway, I should really get back to work. See you!”

Kyle looked around at the rest of the associates curiously. Work? Was he the only one who had nothing to do? Free time just wasn’t the same when it was caused by his enemy.

He tried to work for the next hour on whatever it was that Ross hadn’t already done. This took him about five whole minutes, which were mostly spent leafing through each page to double check they’d already been dealt with. Kyle was now very bored and he was starting to wish he had accepted that muffin from Harold, when he remembered that he had Ross’ wallet.

Snickering to himself, he pulled it from his coat pocket and opened the simple black leather billfold.

It was mostly empty. Kyle was now very disappointed. There was only one five dollar bill in the thing, and the only other items it held were Ross’ ID and his Pearson Hardman badge. At least he could restrict Ross’ entry to and from the building with the badge. He tossed the thing down angrily.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 4/?

Ugh! Stupid character limits!

(Still Kyle's POV)
Maybe he should just return it. But that would have been kind, and Kyle wasn’t about to settle. He would win this battle, or whatever it was. Mike Ross would definitely not be getting his wallet back anytime soon. And Kyle was hungry. Grinning, he took the five dollar bill out of the pocket and headed for the vending machines.

Rachel was not having a good day. Kyle had been bothering her from the moment she’d sat down in her office, and she was extremely busy with something for one of the senior partners. Not only was she wholly uninterested in pursuing anything with Kyle, she was in a bad mood because Mike hadn’t stopped by to deliver so much as a wave at her.

After their double date fiasco, Rachel had decided she’d lost any potential interest in the thing named Kyle, and gained even more interest in the problem named Mike.

But none of this, including the glares she was sending Kyle, was enough to stop him from constantly bothering her. Currently, he was standing next to her desk and delivering some sort of speech about how great he was.

She risked a glance up at him, hoping he’d get the hint and shove off, but instead he seemed to take this as a sign that he had her undivided attention.

She rolled her eyes when he wasn’t looking, and tried to find anyone passing by her office in the hopes of instigating a rescue.

“So that’s how I annihilated Tracy Spates at the mock trial in pre-law in ’07. You should have seen her face. Not that she was as pretty as you, Rachel, but now that I think of it, she did bear a startling resemblance to Ross. Their expressions of defeat are uncannily similar. Weird…” Rachel risked a glance at him after he trailed off, to find him staring out her window with glazed eyes. He was probably trying to picture what Mike Ross would look like bowing down to His Majesty, Kyle.

Rachel glared at her computer screen and gritted her teeth. She refused to get fired for killing Kyle, but she had to admit that the three hole punch made of heavy steel and thick padded rubber she’d gotten from Norma last year was starting to look rather enticing. She tried to satisfy her urge by picturing what it would look like buried in Kyle’s skull.


She snapped her attention back to Kyle. Living Kyle, she reminded herself. “What?” she answered tersely.

“I asked if you wanted to have drinks with me and the guys tonight. Well, actually, just me,” he said smugly, as if he expected her to beg him for the opportunity.

She allowed her hand to glide slowly towards the hole punch.

Sadly, Kyle was rescued by the unlikeliest of sources. Rachel had never been happy to see Louis, but she did let out a glowingly relieved smile when he headed towards her office. Her eyes flicked back to Kyle, hoping he hadn’t seen his impending doom behind him.

Kyle paused just a moment to ignorantly return Rachel’s smile for all the wrong reasons, when Louis shoved his way into her office.

“Mike, I need you to—” Louis stopped himself, realizing too late his mistake. He’d clearly assumed that Kyle had been Mike. Rachel allowed herself to not be offended in this particular case, since her restraint would result in the removal of her pest problem. Though she did allow herself to wish that it had been Mike who’d been pestering her.

“Louis,” Kyle choked. “I was working on those files you gave me and—”

“Whatever, just get these done too,” Louis said as he shoved a rather large stack of file folders into Kyle’s arms. “And stop wasting time. The paralegals have things to do.” Louis risked a glance at Rachel at that, and looked surprised and not a little creeped out, to find Rachel smiling at him.

She silently snickered at her good fortune as the two men practically ran from her office.

It was probably for the best. That three hole punch would have been a bitch to clean.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 5/?

Harvey pressed the button on his desk that turned Donna’s one-way radio into a temporary two-way one.

“No, I have not seen Mike,” Donna said.

Harvey glared at her through the glass of his door. He opened his mouth to reply with a clever retort.

“No, you won’t get away with it.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

Harvey grimaced. He had to learn how she did that.

“I’m not his keeper, Harvey.”

Harvey set the intercom back to normal. Mike shouldn’t have been more than thirty minutes. Louis must have stopped him or maybe that paralegal Mike was always chasing. Or not chasing, now that he was with Jenny. God, Harvey knew way too much about this kid’s life.

Oh well, he thought. The files could wait.

His head hurt. Boxes and papers littered the floor. There was a moment of dizziness as his vision beat back black spots and he struggled to regain focus.

He was in what seemed to be some sort of file room or storage. There were rows upon rows of boxes stacked on metal shelves, surrounded by off-white walls. The metal shelves looked pretty sturdy, and he suspected he had the bruise to prove it.

He was slumped against one of the imposing floor-to-ceiling shelves, his shoulder digging into the space that had formerly held boxes. His head, which felt like it had been hit a dozen times by a wrecking ball, was pressed uncomfortably into one of them. There were nasty rusted screws protruding wickedly from the side of the shelf. He had fortunately managed to miss them, but they still gave him a shudder. His right hip was also bothering him, aching almost as much as his shoulder. But none of these pains were his biggest problems at the moment.

He couldn’t remember how any of this had happened. The memory was just not there. He didn’t even recognize where he was. The room felt eerie—silent and empty.

With a groan and some effort, he lifted himself off the floor. His head was pounding, and his hand came away with some specks of blood when he investigated. He should probably be worried about that. And the whole no memory of the accident thing. Oh well. At least he was conscious. He doubted anyone would have found him down here for quite some time.

Well, I better clean this up and get going before Harvey decides to fire me, he thought. He bent down to gather the scattered papers when he froze. Who’s Harvey?

He had no clue who this Harvey was. He had no idea why he’d be fired by him, and even less of an idea as to what he’d be fired from. He didn’t even know where he was!

And worst of all, he couldn’t remember his name.

It must have been from the blow to his head. Head wounds. Head traumas. What did he know about head traumas? ‘Severe head traumas can result in various losses in brain function, including…’


For a second he had been looking at what seemed like some sort of medical journal, but it had disappeared suddenly as pain stabbed him in the skull. Remembering things hurts. He made a mental note of that.

He needed more information, so he tried to figure out what he had been looking at when he’d fallen. He picked up one of the papers. “Client Adrian Walker was fined $125,000 for breach of contract in Section C paragraph 8 in which the client violated his agreement to first consult with a representative of Pearson Hardman before…” Just legal jargon. But Pearson Hardman was a name. He put down the paper without reading the rest of it, but found that he suddenly knew what the whole thing had said anyway. He could see it in his mind, the entire piece of paper in clear detail, and he’d already read the whole thing. Neat.

He felt really stupid as he realized he hadn’t checked his own pockets yet. Surely he carried around some kind of ID or something. At least a cell phone. Anything would be useful at this point. He frantically began to scour his clothes for anything he could find. But his pockets were all empty except for a gum wrapper, a penny, and a folded piece of paper. He flipped the paper open and saw what looked like an ID number scrawled in neat writing across it. The image of the box that was now overturned on the floor popped into his head, and he just knew it was the locating number for that box that was on the note.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 6/?

Character limits must die!! Also, I'm sorry it took so long to get to this part. I hope you're still with me...

Mike gave one last glance to the room of all things lost and promised it that once he got his memory back, he’d clean it up right away. He headed out into the hallway and up some stairs to find himself in the lobby of an office building. The guide on the wall listed Pearson Hardman’s floors and he resolved to take the elevator up to go find this Harvey person. Or anyone who could help him.

It was pretty obvious to him that Pearson Hardman was a law firm, since it screamed lawyers on its main floor. He didn’t want to seem out of place, so he just picked a direction and stuck to it, trying to seem like he knew exactly where he was going. Harvey had to be around here somewhere, and he would run into him eventually.

After strolling through the office for some time, he came to a section that started to seem familiar, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing since it launched another attack on his head. Wincing, he headed for the water cooler to his left. He had had enough, and he just wanted to find help, so he asked the nearest person if they had seen Harvey around.

“Umm, yeah. He’s in his office. Just saw him with a client a minute ago,” the woman said. She was pretty, but wasn’t triggering any headaches, so he was fairly certain he didn’t know her.

“Thanks,” he said.

She eyed him with what may have been concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he managed and hastily pressed onward.

He was anything but fine, but he didn’t want to talk. He needed to find Harvey. At least he was fairly certain that he knew Harvey. And that Harvey was definitely real.

Eventually the hallway turned into a room filled with cubicles and various suits leafing through large stacks of file folders. Everyone looked really busy.

“Forget something?” a voice said to his left.

“What?” he said, just a little startled.

The man who’d stopped him gave him a large glare, arms crossed smugly.

He assumed from this man’s question that he was here earlier, which meant he needed an excuse as to why he was back and looking suspicious. He could tell the truth, or at least part of it, anyway. “I was just looking for my wallet. I must have left it somewhere. You haven’t seen it, have you?” Very smooth, he thought triumphantly.

“Nope,” the other man paled. “I guess you’re pretty good at losing things, though. Your wallet, the mock trial.” This ‘witty’ retort was met with a blank stare which the smug guy seemed to take for defeat. He got the feeling that this guy took everything as a sign of defeat.

“Why don’t you try your babysitter’s down the hall? I’m sure Harvey will be happy to be reassured of your lack of greatness.”

“Ummm, thanks. You’ve been surprisingly helpful,” he replied.

The smug guy just stared back.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 7/?

Rachel was now getting extremely annoyed that Mike hadn’t stopped by to talk to her once. Usually he asked her how to fill out a form, or to help her with research, or to complain about how heartless Harvey was. But she still had yet to see him.

She frowned and bit into a chocolate chip muffin. Norma had given her sympathetic looks when she’d seen her in the break room, absently pouring too much sugar into her stale, luke-warm coffee. Did every secretary in the building know about her feelings for Mike?

But the really bad part of her day came when she saw Mike hurriedly walking over to a water cooler by reception. He must have been running an errand for Harvey if he was coming from the elevators. She had been about to approach him and ask him why he looked like a deer caught in the headlights, when some blonde bimbo who worked in HR walked up to him.

Rachel had peered around the corner she was hiding behind. They had exchanged only a few words, but Mike was looking even stranger and practically started running in the direction of…well, Rachel wasn’t quite sure where he was going. The bull pen was the opposite direction, and so was Harvey’s office.

She followed him discreetly until he came the long way to the cubicles, when she’d been spotted by one of the other partners and gotten herself roped into taking their case research. By the time she’d escaped, Mike was gone.


The hallway did ultimately lead to offices. He took the increased pain in his skull as a sign that he was in the right place. He eventually came to an office that boasted: Harvey Specter/Senior Partner.

Finally, the right place, he thought, taking a step towards the door. But he was stopped by an impressively loud and definitely suggestive throat clearing.

He turned to find a redhead sitting at a desk just outside the door.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Uh,” he said intelligently. He stared at her, silently begging her to let him in. He was so close!

“The files you begged Harvey to let you get?” she supplied.

“Oh right. Um. I forgot which ones he needed, so…” That seemed like a reasonable excuse, but there was a brief delay to her reply as she leveled a calculating look at him. He tried to seem as innocent as possible, which wasn’t too hard when you honestly had no clue what was going on.

“Because you forget things all the time,” she offered.

“I know. It’s a bad habit. I’m working on it as we speak,” he said.

“Mmhm,” she agreed, and returned to whatever it was she had been doing. He gleefully returned to Harvey’s door.

Harvey was sitting behind his desk, absently reading over something.


“I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s your excuse this time?” Harvey asked, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed.

Briefly, he considered lying. He wasn’t entirely sure he could trust this man. What if he thought he’d gone insane? Or fired him? He remembered his first thought back in the basement, about how Harvey would fire him for creating a mess. Was this guy someone who would actually fire him over something so trivial? He didn’t want to lose his job, even if he had no idea what it was. But this was Harvey, a second voice chimed in.

Deep breath. “I hit my head and now I have amnesia.”

Harvey stared at him, a small—we’re talking quantum levels—smile quirking at the corners of his mouth. “Points for originality,” he began, “but if those files aren’t on my desk in ten minutes, I’m going to tell Louis you have nothing to do.” And with that Harvey returned his attention to whatever he’d been doing before, as if the conversation was over.

He couldn’t believe it. At least he wasn’t being fired. He stood there, hoping Harvey would soon realize that he was still there.

Harvey raised his eyebrows at him, reminding him strangely of the redhead outside, and asked, “Mike?”

He turned his head quickly to check that no one else was in the room or immediately outside Harvey’s office. That there was no one else Harvey could have possibly been addressing. When he was sure they were alone, he let the name sink in. He was Mike! Mike! His very own name!

“I love you,” Mike said gratefully.

“Excuse me?” Harvey asked.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 19/?

Kyle had set about finishing his imaginary workload after exiting Rachel’s office. Louis kept walking by like he was hoping it would make Ross magically appear. This just meant that Louis was instead forced to give Ross’s work to everyone else.

Mysteriously, however, Kyle was exempt from this, as he made himself look on the verge of a panic attack every time Louis walked by.

So instead of working, Kyle once again found himself with nothing better to do than think of his nemesis and ways to humiliate him.

He’d found enough information to conclude that Mike Ross was indeed interested in pursuing him. But he’d have to wait to execute his plan to humiliate Ross. The current problem was that Mike was nowhere to be found. He’d last been seen in Harvey’s office, and there was no way Kyle was going back over there again. At least not while that demon was guarding the entrance.

Kyle shivered in fear and wished he hadn’t eaten those skittles from earlier. They weren’t playing nice with the muffin.

He decided a stretch would do him good, and maybe he could figure out where Ross had gone if he did a little snooping. So he stood and made like he was heading for the bathrooms.

But then he saw someone who looked suspiciously like a police officer walking towards him, and he stopped after the man called out to him.

“Can I help you, officer?”

The man looked around, eyes eerily shifty. “Uh, yeah. I’m looking for the owner of this. Maybe you could help me out?”

Kyle looked at what the man was holding out to him. It seemed to be a cell phone. It looked vaguely familiar.

“Do you know whose it is?”

The man—cop?—shook his head, eyes still darting around, before saying, “Nope. Not a clue, and none of the contacts are answering.”

Kyle could hardly believe that. As someone who had a lot of very important people on his contact list, he found it unbelievable that not one of them would answer their phone. It was the middle of the day, after all, not three in the morning.

His incredulity must have shown on his face because the officer—Kyle wasn’t quite sure if he really was a policeman—decided to elaborate. “He only has three numbers in his phone.”

Kyle had a sneaking suspicion now as to whose phone it could be. There was only one person in the entire building who had any reason to never enter anyone into his contact list. But he had to make sure.

“What are their names?”

The officer narrowed his eyes, finally focusing on something for more than twenty seconds. After a moment he said, “Harvey, Jenny, and Rachel.”

Kyle smirked at his own brilliance. Now he just needed to find a way to get that phone back in his possession. “I do know the owner of that cell phone. I can return it to him, if you’d like.”

The cop snatched the phone back, stuffing it in his pocket and glaring at Kyle. “No that’s okay. I just need to talk with him, if you don’t mind.”

Kyle resisted the sudden and surprising urge to pout. He actually felt a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to use Ross’ phone in his ingenious scheme. “Sure. He should come back to his desk sooner or later.”

And with that Kyle found himself leading this stranger over to Mike’s desk.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 20/?

When they reached it, the officer thanked him for his help and then went around to sit in Ross’s chair. Kyle sneaked back to his own desk and peered over the top, spying, yet again, on Mike Ross’s cubicle.

The officer was rummaging through the materials, and started jiggling the handle of the filing cabinet in an attempt to open it. For some inexplicable reason, this angered Kyle. That stuff was private. Not that it would have stopped him from trying to do the same thing, but that was different! Kyle had special privileges, having beat Mike in the mock trial. Plus, he considered himself in Mike’s good graces so long as his rival maintained his little crush.

So with this new anger, Kyle stood and walked swiftly over to the stranger. “What are you doing?” he said rudely.

The man looked up from the filing cabinet, startled.

“You can’t touch any of his stuff,” Kyle elaborated.

The man waved a hand at him. “Police business. Mind your own and go back to work.” Kyle frowned as he detected a hint of a New York accent that had definitely not been there before.

“Yeah, that’s not how it works,” he said as he rounded the corner and physically turned the chair, forcing the officer away from Mike’s filing cabinet. Only Kyle and the other associates were allowed to mess with Ross!

“Would you like me to arrest you for impeding an officer?” The man’s shifty eyes were back, and Kyle had a thought that maybe this guy wasn’t who he claimed he was.

“You’re in a law office,” he said threateningly. Everyone was looking over at them now, curiosity openly displayed on their faces. Lots of witnesses, Kyle thought smugly as he smirked at the “cop”.

“Oh, and unless that’s evidence, and you can prove it, I’ll be taking that phone.” He held out his hand, trying to exude power the way he’d seen Jessica Pearson and Harvey Specter do. Louis definitely exuded something, but power wasn’t the word any of the associates would choose. Not without a lot of incentives, which Kyle would be more than willing to take.

The man blinked angrily, shoved the phone and the chair at him, and made his escape. Everyone in the bullpen watched him jog out of the area as if he was on fire.

Kyle just stood there clutching the phone with pride until he realized with a sick feeling that he’d just helped out Ross. Publicly. This day was not going the way he’d envisioned.

Re: FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 20/?

I love this. Your Kyle and Harvey are so funny. And the part of hurt!Mike is always nice :D

Re: FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 20/?

I love this story so far. Can't believe I actually like Kyle here. Who would have thought...

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 21/?

Mike had escaped Kyle and Donna by retreating hastily to the bathroom.

He hadn’t meant to hug Kyle at all. He had just been so happy to have discovered he had a last name.

Michael Ross. Mike Ross. Ross. Mike. Mike Ross.

“My name is Michael Ross!” he shouted suddenly at the mirror in the bathroom, arms spread wide in a victory pose.

“That’s great,” a voice said from behind his left.

Mike glanced over to the reflection of the speaker, his face heating up in embarrassment. “I was just,” he tried.

The man, who looked unlike a lawyer in his short-sleeved button-up shirt with pens in the pocket, just glared at him.

“I thought you preferred ‘Mike’.”

Mike turned around to stare at this man whom he didn’t recognize. The familiar pain returned to the back of his skull, and he searched for a name.


“No, genius, Clark Kent.”

Mike frowned. Why did people keep making fun of him? “Superman reference. Real creative,” he said.

“I was looking for you. Your computer needs sweeping. I thought I told you not to go looking at porn.” Ben looked really angry, as though Mike’s computer catching a virus was a personal affront directed solely at him.

“I didn’t. I wasn’t. I—”

“Yeah, whatever. What’s your password, so I don’t have to hack into it?”

Mike froze. He had no clue what his password was. He tried to remember and suddenly he found himself clutching at the sinks behind him, one hand held to his head.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” came Ben’s dry voice.

“I don’t remember it,” Mike replied sadly.

Ben gave him a look.

Mike smiled apologetically at him. “Sorry?”

“Whatever. It’s not like you actually put up any effective firewalls, anyway.” Ben started to walk away, presumably headed for Mike’s computer.

“Thanks, Ben!” Mike called after him.

“You’re welcome, Michael,” he called back in a suspiciously sarcastic tone.

Mike turned back to the sinks and splashed his face with cold water. He really needed to figure out what had happened to his memory. He didn’t want to not remember things! He needed to find Harvey so they could figure this out.

He stepped out of the bathrooms and ran right into a very pretty woman who was carrying file folders, which ended up spilling across the floor. This seemed familiar, and the spike of pain at the back of his skull prompted him to hastily pick up the folders so she wouldn’t notice.

“Sorry!” he said, and gently handed the folders to her with a smile…and proceeded to walk away.

“Mike, wait!” the woman said.

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. He really wanted to find Harvey. His head was hurting him and he wanted to lie down.

When he finally faced her she stepped closer to him, a small frown on her face.

“Can I help you?” he asked kindly.

She gave him a scrutinizing look. “Are you avoiding me?”

He tried to cover his surprise. Apparently this was someone else he knew. “No! Of course not! I’ve just been really busy doing work for Harvey.”

“Yeah,” she shook her head and pushed her hair back behind her ear. “Right, of course.”

“See you later!” Mike started to turn away but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Hey, have you seen Kyle lately?”

Mike smiled. This he could talk about. “Yeah. He’s been really nice today. He gave me a muffin!”

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 22/?

“Really?” she asked, the shock evident in her voice. “Has he been…I don’t know, doing you any special favors lately?”

Mike nodded. “Yeah. He turned in the Brezhinsky files to Louis for me. I couldn’t find them, but he took care of it. Why?”

She looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, “So he didn’t ask you if you wanted to go on a double date?”

“No. Why?”

“Nothing. Wait, he turned in your files for you?” She looked suspicious, but she was smiling at him like they were exchanging secrets, so he felt like he could trust her. Or maybe it was that something in his chest tugged inside when she looked at him like that. He couldn’t help the goofy grin that appeared on his face.

“Yeah. I forgot where they were, and Louis said he wanted them and I was freaking out, but Kyle said he turned them in for me.”

She frowned at him and he had a sinking feeling.

“You forgot?”

He swallowed loudly. He began looking in his periphery for an exit—anything that could get him away. Why did he keep setting himself up for this question?

“I—uh, I—” He swiveled his head to the side as he saw Harvey heading towards him carrying a really big box that Mike recognized. Harvey had gone to the file room without him and brought back evidence. He was trying to help Mike!

But right now, Mike needed help to escape from this woman. “Harvey!” he called out. The man headed quickly for them and Mike felt relief flood his chest.

“Rachel,” Harvey said to the woman. “So sorry to interrupt, but I’m afraid I need my associate.”

Rachel started to apologize to him but Mike interrupted her with, “I thought you were the great Harvey Specter, and you didn’t need anything.”

They both looked at him, Harvey with what looked strangely like concern, and Rachel with shock and confusion, and maybe a small sympathetic-looking smile. Mike was feeling confused, though, and his headache had returned full throttle. He needed to sit down.

Harvey seemed to sense this and shoved the box at Mike, the ensuing cloud of dust making both men sneeze.

“Let’s go, hot shot,” Harvey said snidely.

Rachel gripped his arm once more as she muttered a quick, “We’ll talk about this later.”

Mike had never been so happy to be walking away from a beautiful woman. At least as far as he remembered.

“Where’s my coffee?” Donna asked when they closed in on Harvey’s office.

Mike’s stomach dropped. “I’m sorry. I forgot it.”

She gave him an icy look. “You seem to be doing that a lot lately.”

“You were supposed to be watching him, not letting him run gallivanting off to flirt with pretty paralegals,” Harvey said, only slightly angry, to Donna.

“She is pretty, isn’t she?” Mike said from behind the box.

“I didn’t let him do anything. He ran off after hugging Kyle. I only wish I’d gotten a picture.” Donna sounded extremely disappointed.

Harvey’s face turned slightly reddish as he made a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Yet again, Mike had no idea why Harvey would be laughing at him, but he suddenly realized that the dusty box was extremely irritating to hold when he was trying to rub his head.

Harvey seemed to notice this and steered him into his office, whipping the box out of his hands and setting it down on Donna’s desk wall. Mike heard him ask her to find out what had been in the box before he glided into his office, sitting the both of them down onto his couch.

Mike placed his head in his hands and attempted to lie down on his side of Harvey’s couch, nestling into its plush corner.

The room was spinning, and he kept thinking of things that seemed familiar, hearing voices that sounded like they belonged to people he knew. The bright light from outside that streamed into Harvey’s office reminded him of the lights of the file room. That memory hurt, which was silly, really, because he had started out in the file room, so it shouldn’t cause him any pain.

A shadow blocking the streaming sunlight and a hand on his shoulder made him realize that he had closed his eyes. When he opened them he thought he may have actually fallen asleep and was currently dreaming.

Harvey was standing over him with pure concern etched on his frowning face as he studied Mike.

Yep. Definitely a dream, he thought.

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 23/?

So I finally decided to give in and stop being just a lurker...Hope everyone is still finding all this entertaining, and I promise I am going somewhere with all of this!

Harvey had come out of the elevators carrying the dusty box from the file room. He was planning on asking Donna to research what had been in the box. If anyone could find such an obscure list, it was his secretary. He sometimes allowed himself to entertain the idea that she was some sort of deity amusing herself on Earth by watching the greatness that was Harvey Specter.

He briefly wondered, as he always he did, if that theory was a bit too self-indulgent or perhaps egotistical, but then rationalized that he really was just that awesome.

Which is exactly why Harvey was unhappy to find himself holding a dusty, yellowed, filing box in an attempt to help someone who wasn’t himself, Jessica, or a client.

He reminded himself again that, as a reflection of his own self, Mike’s fragile mind definitely needed to be fixed so that Harvey’s reputation wouldn’t be tarnished.

With all these inner debates going on, Harvey barely registered that he’d walked nearly the whole way to his office already.

He looked over the top of the large box to see Mike talking with Rachel, looking in somewhat of a panic. This bothered him greatly. Not because Mike was panicked—that seemed to be an hourly occurrence—but because Mike was supposed to be sitting patiently in Harvey’s office, under Donna’s close scrutiny, and not out where anything bad could happen to or because of him.

“Harvey!” Mike called to him. Harvey growled at himself when he found his feet immediately marching over to Mike. His body just wasn’t listening to him today. He had meant to call Mike over and tell him to follow, but instead he was walking over to the two of them like he was Mike’s associate!

Harvey glanced at Rachel, who was quickly trying to cover her somewhat mischievous expression. “Rachel,” he said, hoping to distract her from whatever she’d been saying to cause Mike’s hand to start rubbing at his head again. “So sorry to interrupt, but I’m afraid I need my associate.”

Rachel looked like she was about to protest but Mike beat her to it with a traditional Mike-esque response: “I thought you were the great Harvey Specter, and you didn’t need anything.” Harvey would have been angry, but he was too busy watching Mike’s face openly portray the pain and confusion he was experiencing. He looked like he was going to pass out, and Harvey realized that would be even worse than Rachel finding out he didn’t remember anything.

Harvey decided a hasty retreat was needed, so he rudely shoved the hated box at Mike and said, “Let’s go, hotshot,” in a tone that brooked no argument. Hopefully Rachel interpreted that as Harvey being mad at Mike, and they could make a quick escape. Unfortunately for Harvey’s self-image, his plan was only slightly ruined by the cloud of dust that billowed up like a miniature mushroom cloud from the box. Harvey and Mike both sneezed.

He turned swiftly, knowing Mike would follow him, amnesia or no. The kid was amazingly still loyal to Harvey even without his memories. If Harvey allowed himself to feel, he would be proud to have Mike as his associate. But Mike could only stay his associate if he had his memories. Harvey walked a little faster.

When he approached Donna’s desk, she gave Mike an expectant look. “Where’s my coffee?”

Mike looked even worse than he already did after Donna’s question. Harvey knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t being serious, but Mike—especially this Mike—didn’t know that.

“I’m sorry. I forgot it.” Harvey noted that he looked like somebody had told him he was about to be eaten alive by a large python.

Donna looked at him in pretend irritation. “You seem to be doing that a lot lately.”

Normally, Harvey would find her deadpanned quips entertaining, but he was still angry at her for not keeping her promise. So before Mike could respond, he cut in with, “You were supposed to be watching him, not letting him run gallivanting off to flirt with pretty paralegals.”

FILL: How Harvey's Day Was Greatly Inconvenienced by Mike's Petty Problems 24/?

I really hate character limits...

She gave him a weighing look. “I didn’t let him do anything. He ran off after hugging Kyle. I only wish I’d gotten a picture.” He heard Mike say something behind the box about Rachel being pretty, but Harvey was too busy trying not to laugh at what was the second image in his head of Mike hugging Kyle. He coughed and gave Donna a pointed look.

Then he noticed that Mike was juggling the box between his hands in what appeared as an attempt to scratch his head. And he still looked just short of faint.

Harvey opened the door to his office, stole the box from Mike’s arms, and gave his associate a shove in one swift motion.

“Donna,” he said quietly, placing the dusty box on her desk as she glared at the scuff marks it would leave. “I need you to find out what files were supposed to be in this.”

“Is it about Mike?” she said, her tone becoming truly serious for perhaps the first time that day.

Harvey just nodded.

“Sure thing, boss,” she said and Harvey all but jogged into his office.

Mike was simply standing there with his eyes shut in pain, so Harvey steered him once again to his couch. His associate immediately set his head in his hands and fell onto the arm, shrinking inward.

Harvey grimaced at what he knew he had to do. Pain had meant that Mike was remembering, or about to remember, and Harvey needed Mike—his Mike—more than anything right now, however loathe he was to admit it.

Harvey stood from his place on his couch and put a hesitant hand on Mike’s shoulder. The eyes that blinked up at him were red from pain and maybe fear, and for once, Harvey just let his emotions show, trying to comfort his associate.


“You can’t be real.” Mike’s response seemed awed, but he never took his eyes off Harvey’s.

“I need you to remember,” Harvey said slowly, forcing his voice to be steady and calm.

Mike shook his head vigorously, scrunching his eyes and withdrawing into a curled ball in the corner of the couch.

“It hurts!” he whined.

Harvey took a deep breath. He didn’t want to be the one who had to do this, but he didn’t trust anyone else with his associate right now. He could remember all sorts of things that were best left unsaid to unsuspecting ears.

“I know it hurts, Mike. But I need you to tell me what happened in the file room.”

Mike’s pained expression turned to anger in a flash, and he snapped at Harvey with a hissed, “I don’t remember!”

Harvey was amazingly starting to feel guilty. He didn’t like to feel guilty. Angry, betrayed, he could take, because Louis was usually the cause of those emotions when Mike was involved, and all he had to do was chew out Louis or steal clients from him. But here, standing in this room, being the bad guy to his own—and for once, undeserving—associate, Harvey wanted to punch himself, if it would take some of the guilt away.

He took another deep, steadying breath. “Try and work backwards. Tell me what you do remember in the file room. Take your time.”

Mike fidgeted, still angry, but he opened his eyes again and stared straight at Harvey, like he was afraid he’d disappear if he stopped looking.

“I—there were files everywhere. I was leaning against the shelf. Then…then…”

He picked himself up from the couch and stood, his eyes finally ripping themselves from Harvey’s gaze as he stared unfocused at the view from Harvey’s office. Harvey kept a steadying hand on his shoulder, though, afraid Mike might collapse any minute.

“Mike?” he tried.

“I was trying to get the box down, when…”

Harvey tried not to sigh too loudly. This is where they were before he’d been interrupted by Jessica.

“When?” he prompted patiently.

“Harvey?” Mike was now looking at him, blinking with raised eyebrows at the hand Harvey had on him. Harvey realized he was probably gripping it just a bit too tightly, so he loosened his fingers, but didn’t remove the hand.

“Why are we—what’s going on?” Mike started to look around like he had no clue what had happened.

“Mike?” Harvey finally asked.